Don't Think About A Purple Gorilla (Whatever You Just Pictured, That's Exactly How This Works)
Jul 09, 2026
Written By Bart Berkey | Founder of Most People Don't
There is a famous concept in psychology that goes like this: "don't think about an elephant."
And now you are thinking about an elephant.
That is the whole lesson right there, but most of us spend our entire lives running from it, in the wrong direction.
We tell ourselves don't worry.
Then, of course, all we do is worry.
We tell ourselves don't mess this up.
Then, of course, we mess it up.
We tell ourselves don't think about what could go wrong.
Then suddenly that is the only thing we can see.
The brain doesn't process the word "don't", it just latches onto whatever comes after it and runs.
So what if we flipped it entirely?
What if instead of telling yourself "don't worry," you told yourself "I am calm and I am ready"?
What if instead of "don't mess this up," you said "I have prepared for this moment"?
What if the story you told yourself was the one you actually wanted to live, instead of the one you were trying to avoid?
This is not wishful thinking. This is how the brain actually works.
About six months ago, I decided to test this theory in the most unusual way I could think of.
I wanted to manifest something I had never seen in real life, something so specific and so unlikely that if it showed up I would know without any doubt that this concept was real.
So I chose an image, said it out loud, and waited.
A purple gorilla.
I looked for it everywhere for weeks and found nothing.
At some point I stopped looking.
Not because I gave up but because I had read something that changed how I was approaching the whole thing.
"Relax to rise."
You may remember a toy from childhood called a finger trap, a small woven tube that you slide your fingers into from both ends.
The harder you pull to get your fingers out the tighter it grips. The only way to get free is to relax.
To stop forcing it.
To trust that ease is the answer when everything in you is screaming to push harder.
I relaxed.
I stopped hunting for the purple gorilla and just let the idea live quietly in the background.
And then one morning my wife, Terri, came to me with an idea.
What if we wrote a children's book series together? We have spent years teaching adults to "Do" what "Most People Don't". We're writing this book so kids never stop "Doing" in the first place.
I sat down and started typing and within minutes a name came to me, that I hadn't planned and hadn't forced, and hadn't looked for.
Plum.
And the moment I typed 'Plum', a pop-up ad appeared on my screen, it was for a Purple Gorilla children's toy.
I want to be honest with you about what happened next because it surprised even me.
I started to cry.
Not because of the image of the purple gorilla, although that was remarkable enough on its own.
But because of what the name meant and where it came from and what it represented.
Plum is the town in Pennsylvania where I grew up.
It is where I became who I am.
And now it is the name of a small purple gorilla who lives in a jungle full of gray ones and does what Most Gorillas Don't.
He isn't different because of how he looks. He's different because of what he "Does".
He spends his days doing things the other gorillas overlook, Doing the things that matter, the things that make others feel Seen, Valued, and Cared for, the things that Most Gorillas Don't.
He in a sense, is me.
And as you are reading this newsletter, there is a very good chance he may be like you or someone you know too.
The first book in the series "Most Gorillas Don't...But You're Not Most Gorillas," will be released soon. I cannot wait to introduce you to Plum properly.
In the first story, Plum learns the lesson the other gorillas keep missing: "Be Where Your Feet Are." Not swinging ahead to the next branch, not looking back at the last one. Right here, right now. Because happiness isn't something you chase, and problems aren't something you outrun. Both of them live right where you're standing. In an early age, Plum is learning something similar to what I teach executives.
If you've followed "Most People Don't" for a while, you already know Plum's philosophy. Now your kids can too.
Want to be one of the first people to meet him?
Click "Plum" and I'll make sure you are.
In the meantime, I want to leave you with the question that started all of this.
What are you chasing so hard right now that you can't see it anymore?
What would happen if you relaxed your grip, stopped forcing the outcome, and trusted that what you are looking for might already be on its way?
Don't think about what you don't want.
Tell yourself the story of what you do want.
Then get quiet enough to let it find you.
Plum didn't show up when I was looking.
He showed up the moment I stopped.
Most People Don't stop long enough to let that happen.
But you're not most people.
- Bart
If your team knows what to do, but isn’t consistently doing it, let’s fix that.
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