"I Feel Like I'm TOO MUCH" What's The Last Harsh Thing You Said To Yourself?
Jul 16, 2026
Written By Bart Berkey | Founder of Most People Don't
What's The Last Harsh Thing You Said To Yourself?
This week, I was in Cancun, presenting at ALG Vacations' Travel Advisors - Kindness Conference, and my session was on BEING KIND TO YOURSELF.
It was a large room full of people whose entire job is to take great care of others. I wanted to see what would happen if we turned that same care inward.
We did a simple exercise. Each person wrote down the last harsh thing they had said to themselves. The thing that had been rattling around in their head that week, the sentence they would never say out loud to a friend.
Then I asked them to do something harder.
Rewrite it. Not to soften it, but to write it the way a good friend would say the same thing to them. Honestly and objectively, but also kindly.
The room went quiet.
Then it started.
The Words We Say to Ourselves Matter
One woman had written down "I am TOO MUCH."
When she rewrote it, she wrote, "I am the exact amount of MUCH for this world."
Another had written "I suck."
Her rewrite was "I am perfectly imperfect, and I keep making progress."
I got goosebumps. I still get them thinking about it.
Here is what I saw in that room.
Not a single person had trouble writing down the harsh thing.
It came out fast, like it had been waiting for permission.
But almost everyone struggled with the rewrite.
They needed the person next to them to help. They needed to be told that the softer version was allowed to be true.
That is the whole lesson.
We do not need help being cruel to ourselves.
That part happens on its own.
We need help being kind to ourselves, because that muscle got weak from lack of use.
Your Inner Voice Shapes Your Reality
There is a short video floating around social media that captures the essence of my lesson well.
Creator Gloria Del Re tells a powerful story about internal kindness, and I will share it with you:
She says out loud, "I'm not good enough"
The universe (a voice) responds immediately, "Correct."
She says, "I've been working so hard, I'm not seeing any results."
The voice echoes back like a mirror, "Correct."
She pauses,
She lifts her chin and chose different words instead, with shaky voice, she said "Everything I desire is already here?" Then she gently placed her hand over her heart.
"Correct."
While watching this story, I told myself "I deserve the same kindness I so freely give to others."
The voice says...
"Correct."
The universe is not editing what you say about yourself.
It is agreeing with you.
Our thoughts become our attention, and our attention becomes the intention that shapes the result.
Which brings me back to the phrase that Karis, an attendee, shared with me:
"This is your first time here."
Not here in Cancun or in a hotel ballroom. Here in your life at this exact moment.
Just like everyone else, you are experiencing life for the first time.
You are allowed to make mistakes.
You are allowed to be kind to yourself.
You have never been this age before, on some level you are making it up as you go.
Every single one of us is.
So why do we punish ourselves for not getting it right the first time?
Give yourself the grace you would give a friend who was in that exact spot.
Inspired by Someone Who Chose to Be Vulnerable
This week's reflection was inspired by Maddie Dowdall, a Travel Advisor with EverWild Travel Co., whose honesty during our Kindness Conference sparked a conversation that became this week's message.
When Maddie shared the words, "I feel like I'm too much," she reminded everyone in the room of something many of us quietly carry.
Thank you, Maddie, for your courage, your vulnerability, and for reminding us that sometimes the kindest thing we can do is rewrite the story we tell ourselves.
If you're looking for a travel advisor who cares about people as much as the places they visit, you can connect with Maddie here:
Maddie Dowdall
Travel Advisor | EverWild Travel Co.
π§ [email protected]
Tiktok: @everwildtravelco
Facebook: @MaddieDowdall
Two Ways To Put This Into Practice This Week
1. Catch the next harsh thing you say to yourself and rewrite it on paper instead of in your head. Say the kinder version of what you said to yourself as often as you can, where you can actually hear it. The out-loud part matters because it starts to rewire what your ear is expecting to hear. It might sound ridiculous the first few times, until it does not.
2. When someone else is being hard on themselves in your presence, do not agree by staying quiet. Speak the friend's version out loud on their behalf. "I don't believe that is the truth. Here is what I actually see..." This is HUMANALITY, and it is contagious.
Remember that we're all taking our first steps through a life we've never lived before.
You don't need all the answers today.
When you're kinder to yourself, you become stronger, steadier, and more generous. That's the moment kindness stops being something you do and starts becoming who you are.
So here is the question I am sitting with this week, and I will leave it with you:
What is the last harsh thing you said to yourself, and how would a good friend say the same thing back to you?
Most people don't.
But YOU do.
- Bart
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