Everyone Has Something "What If We Knew"
May 30, 2025
Most People Don't... Choose to See the Good
Instead, they often magnify the issues, problems, and annoyances.
Recently, I was on a call with a client who asked,
"Do you want to start with the good, the bad, or the ugly?"
My heart skipped a beat—what now?
But I said,
“Let’s start with the good.”
And here’s the thing... That’s all there was.
No bad. No ugly. Just good.
It reminded me how often we brace for impact that never actually comes.
The "What ifs?" can be paralyzing.
They can stall your progress, and prevent you from reaching your goals.
At a recent presentation to a large group, I shared a video of a restaurant scene where each diner had a text bubble above their head, silently revealing their reality:
- One couple’s bubble read: “Just recovering from a cancer scare.”
- A solo woman’s: “Arguing with family."
- A man in the drive-thru: “Just lost my job.”
Everyone is carrying something at some point in time, and it may be a day that you are meeting with them.
Now imagine if you had insight into what other's were going through.
Whether in person, on Zoom, or over the phone.
Would you treat them differently?
- Would you ask more meaningful questions?
- Would you help them see that their struggle might not be as insurmountable as they believe?
- Would you offer to help without being asked?
This level of awareness, the ability to notice, anticipate, and overdeliver is key to emotional intelligence (EQ).
In leadership, EQ isn’t just a skill—it’s a defining factor in success.
In this week's Most People Don't...but YOU Do! podcast episode, I have a conversation with Andrew Newland, the CEO of Functional Medicine Marketing, his approach to marketing in the functional medicine space embodies going beyond the ordinary to achieve extraordinary results.
He has mastered the art of strategic branding and digital outreach.
Andrew's expertise in positioning leaders for success, embracing innovative strategies, and challenging conventional norms aligns perfectly with my philosophy of intentional action.
How does he stay so positive during challenging times? You can find out by listening to the podcast.
The Mindset Trap
Studies estimate we have up to 60,000 thoughts per day. Over 90% are repetitive. And up to 80% lean negative due to our brain’s survival-driven negativity bias.
That’s a lot of internal “bad and ugly” swirling around.
So here’s what I do:
I keep a journal with two simple sections:
- "B" for Bad Thoughts – where I jot down fears, doubts, and What ifs?
- "G" for Good Thoughts – where I record wins, hopes, and gratitude.
At the end of the day, I look back at the “B” list. And more often than not, I realize that 85% of the things I worried about never actually happened.
Even better? In most remaining cases, I handled things better than I expected.
Most people don’t reflect like that. But YOU do.
You pause. You think. You lead with kindness. You choose to see the good—and help others do the same.
A Lesson from one of my stories that I referenced in my book, Most People Don't (And Why You Should)
"By This Time Tomorrow" is a story about my worry in preparation for disc replacement surgery.
After having my horrific "out of body" experience at age 12, my greatest fear was having any type of surgery. Fast forward to my later 40's, when my hand started losing sensation. The doctor stated, "you are one car accident away from becoming paralyzed." The two ruptured discs in my neck were causing terrific problems.
In an effort to calm me down, my wife shared "by this time tomorrow" you'll be done with the surgery and on your way to recovery. "By this time tomorrow" you'll be at home resting with your dogs by your side. "By this time tomorrow" you'll be getting better.
The most brilliant part of this story is that SHE WAS RIGHT! I recovered fully. I have full functions of my body. The sensation has returned to my hand and arm. I am good and getting better.
The worry in advance was not necessary.
Things are not usually as bad as you imagine.
You will handle and excel any challenges that come your way.
Three Leadership Strategies to Shift Your Mindset
- Audit Your Inner Dialogue: Identify recurring thoughts—are they fueling growth or feeding hesitation?
- Reframe Negativity Into Possibility: When facing challenges, focus on solutions rather than limitations.
- Set Mental Primers: Begin each day with a guiding thought or affirmation that aligns with your leadership vision.
Leadership is about influence—external and internal. What thoughts will you choose to shape your decisions today?
And here’s the key: Emotional intelligence doesn’t just shape individual success—it strengthens teamwork by fostering trust, collaboration, and shared purpose, leading to higher performance and deeper connections.
So this week, don’t brace for the bad or the ugly.
Start with the good.
Most of the rest is just noise.
– Bart
For more inspiration, listen to this week's podcast episode:
"The Day I Realized I Was The Problem & The Solution", Andrew Newland, CEO of Functional Medicine Marketing
Every week I have conversations with successful leaders that share powerful stories, practical insights, and motivational lessons to help you be better, feel better, do better, and enjoy a more meaningful and impactful life.
You can find our podcast on all major platforms like Apple, Spotify, and my website, mostpeopledont.com.
Don't miss out on the chance to be inspired and empowered!
It's another great one! 🎧
