Let Go or Lose, Don't Allow Worry to Win
Oct 24, 2025
Written By Bart Berkey | Most People Don't
You’re batting 1,000.
Every obstacle, every setback, every storm.
You made it through.
If you’re reading this right now, you are undefeated at overcoming hard things.
You’re still standing.
You are here.
You are Doing Great!
Most People Don’t realize just how extraordinary this is.
Do you realize you are a survivor?
Then why does it make sense to hold on to the bad things that have already happened?
Even when you have have moved past it.
It's in the past.
You handled it.
You experienced it.
What actually happened?
Was it bad, really bad, horrible?
Does it still bother you to this day?
Ok, I understand.
Everyone experiences obstacles and hardships in their lifetime.
Fact.
So why do we often hold on to old pain when it’s already behind us?
They’re only in the present if we allow them to be.
You handled it. You experienced it. You survived.
The hard part is behind you.
You faced it. You felt it.
Maybe it was tough.
Maybe it was brutal.
Maybe it changed everything.
And still… here you are.
You do have a choice.
Most people carry their scars as burdens.
But why?
You have proof, they’re signs of resilience, not defeat.
Everyone faces hardships.
Most People Don't keep moving forward.
Instead, they carry the past forward, over and over, day to day.
But there is a better way.
So how will you finally let go of the past and prepare yourself for the future?
You need to train.
From Trigger to Awe
Last week in Cancun, I presented to a group of top Travel Advisors.
The Journey From Trigger to Glimmer to Awe
- Trigger: The moments that knock the wind out of us.
- Glimmer: The shift when we start to find hope again.
- Awe: When we pause, breathe, and truly feel the beauty of the moment.
I asked the group to write down 1 trigger.
One advisor wrote down this trigger,
“I got a 1-star review.”
When I asked her when did she receive this, she said
"Three years ago!"
When I asked her how have they been since then?
She said, "All nearly perfect"
Of course they are, she is in the audience with top Travel Advisors.
Yet 1 star, is still the first thing her mind went to when I asked the question.
She received only one, 1 star review, and it was 3 years ago.
This is called negativity bias.
The brain grips negatives tighter and longer than positives sometimes.
It takes ten positive moments just to balance out one negative.
Think about this, the human brain looks for threats, constantly.
We have 60,000 negative thoughts per day.
Fight or Flight.
Our brains still react to stress, whether it’s lions, tigers, or bears or...
The fear of not making President's Club.
The fear of not making quota.
The fear of getting a 1 star review.
This is evolution at work.
Here is another great example.
I recently met, Denise Wiggins.
She attended an event that I spoke at last week, for
The Central PA Chapter of ASTA. She has a long, successful career in travel, plus two additional businesses. She is an entrepreneur.
On this week’s For All the Marbles podcast, I spoke with Denise, known as "The Healthy Traveler".
She has walked 10 miles a day for 1,174 consecutive days (as of 10.24.25).
Let that sink in for a second.
Consecutive.
Self-motivated, determined.
Excuses are non-negotiable.
No Excuses.
Realize that these are also the habits and commitments of leaders and successful entrepreneurs.
She will walk 10 miles every day, whether it's cold, raining, the hotel she's at doesn't have a gym, she has too much too do, she's not in the mood. It doesn't matter, she will walk.
She chooses to walk 10 miles every day.
How do I know this?
During my presentation I asked the audience to talk to the people at the table and ask them, "What do you "do" that others don't, that make you successful?"
A hand was raised, and I learned this about Denise.
As I looked around the room, it dawned on me. We were talking about the role of a busy, successful travel advisor. Most who candidly share, that due to their busy schedule, personal time is coveted and scarce.
Denise runs three businesses, and radiates positive energy.
Despite her personal journey, that isn't always joyful.
Denise has not only experienced trauma, loss, and hard truths, she seemingly has gracefully jumped these hurdles like a gazelle. Unwilling to allow big obstacles to get in her way or throw her offtrack. (literally)
How this mindset began.
As she describes, "I was a large person due to eating the wrong food, and my health was failing due to a medical condition." She developed an autoimmune disease that caused her to have limited ability to move.
Painful joints, inability to move much at all.
Obviously concerning, since she has 3 kids and at the time, wanted her to "play with them".
A particular doctor visit changed her trajectory.
He told her bluntly:
“If you continue on this path, you won’t live long enough to see your children’s children if you don’t change.”
That was her trigger.
She used her trigger for "good, better, & best"
She didn’t stay stuck where she was.
She could have, but she chose to take action and make a commitment to herself.
Her personal commitment compounded,
daily-weekly-monthly-yearly, yielding great results.
She trained her brain to let go of excuses.
She essentially "Trigger Trained".
She will not allow any old or new triggers to get in the way of achieving her goal.
She learned to say yes to herself.
She restructured her life, one decision at a time, to find her glimmer, hope through movement, belief, and rest.
Yes, rest is important. It is essential.
Not easy to achieve, especially for successful entrepreneurs, perfectionists, & top producers, but essential since the body recharges & rebuilds.
Rest is a profoundly nourishing state in which the body and mind can heal, recover, and renew.
When you allow yourself to rest, your nervous system will shift from ‘fight-or-flight’ into ‘rest-and-digest,’ balancing hormones, soothing stress, and supporting your emotional resilience.” Judith Lasater on the science and benefits of rest through yoga. Finding Peace In A Stressful World
Every morning at 4:45 a.m., Denise walks 10 miles.
Approximately 95% of the time she walks outside, enjoying nature.
No excuses. No looking back. Only forward.
As a power walker, she accomplishes this goal in about 1 hour and 50 minutes.
Finding AWE.
Denise starts her day in nature.
With gratitude for being alive.
Mirror Talk & Mental Training
One of the most powerful things Denise shared was something her mother taught her as a young girl. She would walk Denise into the bathroom and say:
“Look in the mirror. Say your name. Tell yourself:
"I am worthy"
"I am Strong"
"I am Beautiful"
"I am Loved”
Her mother is right.
Most of us wait for someone else to tell us that we’re doing great.
But we can train our brains to believe it, by telling ourselves.
We can train away the weight of old negative triggers and make room for Glimmer and Awe.
What if, you don’t let go of your bad thoughts, and you allow yourself to lug them around for the rest of your life.
They grow.
They shape how you see the present.
Even when the storm is long over.
If you have already proven that you can survive hard things.
Why would you want to allow yourself to keep thinking of a negative thought.
Let go and Find your glimmer.
Create Awe instead.
It's your life.
Live it well.
Trigger Strategy Tips
- Identify one old trigger that’s been living rent-free in your head.
- Say it out loud.
- Then follow it with: What happened. You're here, you obviously survived. Why are you allowing it to define you?
- Replace it with one good thing, today’s glimmer.
Trigger Training Strategy
Anticipate - Recognize your patterns and brace for triggers (like a tough meeting, critical feedback, or an annual review).
Compensate - Move through stress with a micro-strategy: breathe, get perspective, pause for self-talk (“This does not define me”).
Liberate - Let go of the urge to revisit old pain, shift to today’s opportunities and intentionally release lingering resentment.
You’ve got this.
Because you always have.
— Bart
For More Inspiration:
🎧 Listen to This Week’s Podcast Episodes:
Most People Don't...but YOU Do!
Episode #206: Kevin Brown with Alliants, on "Creatively Disrupting the Conventional"
For All The Marbles, In Partnership with Marblism
Be Better, Feel Better, Do Better
Live with Greater Impact.
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