That Aisle in Target, the Ask, and the Cost of Avoidance
Feb 06, 2026
(I keep thinking about that aisle in Target)
Not just the books. Not the music albums.
But the cell phone reps and the habit underneath their presence.
They were wearing red shirts, almost disguised as Target employees.
My habit when approaching that area of the store is simple avoidance.
I didn’t avoid the aisle because I didn’t want a book.
I avoided it because I didn’t want the moment of discomfort.
The interruption. "How are you today?"
"What cell phone provider are you using?"
The pressure.
The internal debate between being polite and protecting my space.
I can answer "great, how about you?" but as soon as I share my phone provider, all heck always breaks lose.
Which made me think…
What if the better option wasn’t avoidance at all?
What if I walked into the aisle, made eye contact, and said something simple and human like:
“I’d love to look at the book section, and I’m not interested in talking about my cell phone carrier. Thanks for understanding.”
That’s honest.
That’s kind.
That’s clear.
And it’s also… hard.
Because most of us were taught that clarity can feel rude, that boundaries create awkwardness, and that it’s easier to reroute than to speak up.
So, we avoid.
We avoid aisles.
We avoid conversations.
We avoid people who make us uncomfortable.
At work, that looks like:
Not giving feedback
Not addressing tension
Letting things linger
In life, it looks like:
Dodging conversations we need to have
Staying silent when something matters
Choosing comfort over courage
But here’s the quiet cost of avoidance.
When we avoid, we don’t just skip the discomfort.
We miss what’s on the other side of it.
A bestselling book.
A vinyl record that becomes the soundtrack of a season.
A clearer relationship.
A healthier boundary.
A moment of respect, for ourselves and for others.
Avoidance keeps the peace, but it also keeps the distance.
Kind, direct honesty does something different.
It says:
I see you.
I respect you.
And I respect myself too.
So maybe the real question isn’t:
Should we avoid or confront?
Maybe it’s:
Can we be honest without being harsh?
Clear without being cold?
Direct without being dismissive?
Because when we choose avoidance, we protect ourselves in the moment.
But when we choose kind courage, we expand what’s possible.
Most people don’t step into the aisle.
But the ones who do tend to walk out with more than they came in for, including ways to learn how to be direct and kind at the same time.
