"You are NOT alone..."

Jun 14, 2024

(Me not on a large stage, not wearing a tie, just being myself and helping people)


…And you DON’T have to FACE it by yourself. 

 Ask for help.  Raise a red flag. You will signal potential trouble with a red flag.  You are not surrendering, as with a white flag.  Call a lifeline, you just need help.

There are people out there that care about you. 

On this week’s podcast, we talk with Wayne Robinson about VULNERABILITY, Authenticity, and Perception.   

There is an emphasis today on BEING PERCEIVED A CERTAIN WAY. Too many of us care more about what other people think, above what and how you actually think about yourself. 

Society it is telling you the world is all about clicks, likes, and follows.

Should it be a POPULARITY contest or a PURPOSARITY contest?

Try this thought and approach: “So what, who cares?”

I share with Wayne, a friend’s perception of my business. She said “You’re crushing it.  I see you everywhere on LinkedIn.  Looks like business is amazing.”

My response was; “my business is growing, we are helping people, and I am very fulfilled.”  HOWEVER, I added, this doesn’t mean that I don’t need more opportunities to increase business further.  I have several weeks free this summer in which I’d love to get a gig.  He suggested that I be “me”, be vulnerable, and let people know that I have a need.  He shared, Bart you’re great at what you do, show them how good you are and ASK THEM for a conversation.  As a motivational speaker, you have more than “motivation” in your bag.  You can present to 10 people or 10,000 as they are all equally valuable to you. 

This went against what I had been advised early in my speaking career.  “Don’t be vulnerable. Act "as IF" and the big stages will find you.” 

-Only post photos of you on the largest stages so people will know to hire you for their biggest keynote events.

-Only wear a suit and tie on stage because this represents your brand.

-Consider coloring your white beard darker so you appeal to a younger audience.

-Don’t talk about your panic attacks, out-of-body experience, and surgery scares… this makes you look weak.

Wayne was told to manage differently, to not be his authentic self, as empathy would make him seem too vulnerable to lead well:

-Don’t be so nice.

-Be mean..."It’s your way or the highway!"

Make people become afraid of you.

Hold their feet to the fire. 

Wayne remained the SAME WAYNE (regardless of his title, seniority, and responsibilities).

What this interview taught me and lessons to share with others:

  • Be you, be real, BE THE SAME WAYNE
  • Balance the “VULNER” with the “ABLE”- TRY, Don’t take the easy way out without the effort first.
  • Use your resources, there are people that like you that WANT to HELP
  • Don’t change YOUR VALUES, find the right culture that aligns with YOU
  • Do your BEST, and if you need help ASK. 

How can you use these lessons to improve yourself personally and professionally?